i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize