i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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