i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
