well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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