I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize