lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
