Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize