Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
