My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
