bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
