Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
