He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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