so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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