i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this just has baby written all over it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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