forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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