K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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