Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
