I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to sanitize my soul.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize