The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
