i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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