She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize