i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
