have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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