omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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