Whod you bang
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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