Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
