I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
