the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
