She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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