I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
