Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
