I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
