I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
