no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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