I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
