O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
