I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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