you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
