Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
