did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
