I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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