did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
