I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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