Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
