real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
