3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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