dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
