Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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