do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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