Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.

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(518): View more from New York

He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

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(949): View more from California

I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls

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(541): View more from Oregon

We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram

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(850): View more from Florida

so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!

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(614): View more from Ohio

what are you getting to drink for new years?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice

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