woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
