Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
