So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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