I heard we made out
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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