Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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