And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just pynch a tree in the face
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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