marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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