HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ugly people sure do ruin things
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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