Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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