Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
