I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my shit smells like andre
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
