I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize