Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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