That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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