yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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