You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
