Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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