Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize