You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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