i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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