bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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