So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
