Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
