then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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